Stop Waiting For The End
by Warbler-Weisman
Summary: Jake's been gone for a while and Ryder cant seem to let go, but he might not have to. (Jyder with Ghost!Jake)
1. Prolog

This was it the end he had waited all these 18 years for. The time had come, time for Jake Puckerman to die at his own hand. The crudely written note only read two words. "Goodbye guys..." He signed his full name at the bottom of the piece of paper and walked away from his home for the last time. He made his way to the ledge. Once the jump was done, when there once were many adjectives like nice, talented, a loving human being to his boyfriend that could describe Jake, yet as of late only one word could possibly describe him. Dead.


	2. The first year

This was the day Ryder had been dreading for all these months. Jake was officially gone for a year. Not even gone, he was a word Ryder almost never aloud to cross his lips, dead. He left every photo of himself and his late boy friend around his room. The tears soon began to roll down his face. He whispered "Hello there, the angel from my nightmare." A knock at the door broke Ryder out of his trance. He cleared his throat and asked "Who is it?" The person on the other side of the door spoke "It's Puck." Ryder did not even attempt to dry his tears since he knew the person on the other side of the door would be crying as well. He opened the door and saw none other than Noah Puckerman standing there. The older young man spoke, "Grab a hoodie Lynn, its cold out there." Ryder did as he was told and embarked with Puck down the stairs. He grabbed his backpack and told his parents goodbye. Puck led him outside to the side car of his motorcycle. Ryder pondered while on the way to McKinley, "Why would you be giving me a ride to school?" Noah responded "Because you and I both know what today's the one year anniversary of, and it's not like you wanted to get out of bed and be forced to face the people who pushed Jake to what he did, but I at least thought you might want to show for glee club…" The young man in the side car shrugged his shoulders and spoke. "I can't believe he's been gone for a year." Puck consoled "I know its rough kid, but you'll pull through." He choked up on his last six words "It's what Jake would have wanted." Those words caused Ryder's second of many break downs that day. Puck spoke up once again when they pulled into the school's parking lot. He said "Look, hurry to class Ry. I'll pick you up after glee club rehearsal so we can go put flowers on Jake's grave." Ryder nodded and headed into the school with tears still stinging at his eyes. Some of the members of glee club were there waiting for him. Blaine and Marley stood there, both of them dressed in nearly all black. Marley whispered "Hey Ry. Uhm everyone was wondering if you were going to show up for the glee club meeting and we volunteered to come wait for you out here." He merely nodded his head and followed the two to the choir room. As soon as he entered, everyone stood up and gave him a group hug. A weak smile crossed his lips before Mr. Schue spoke. "Ryder, I know today is going to be hard for you, but we wanted to tell you that we're here for you no matter what." Sam continued "We're like a family, and we know it hit you the hardest when we lost one of our own last year." Marley looked like she was on the brink of tears as she spoke to the boy "I got this out of it when Mrs. Puckerman said we could take what we wanted out of Jake's locker last year. I've waited for today since I thought it might be the day you would need it most." She handed Ryder what appeared to be a plain ordinary black book. He spoke "What is this?" Kitty and Marley both cracked a slight smile as he opened the book. Kitty answered his question once he looked at the first page, "It's a scrapbook Jake made of you two's relationship. We thought today it might make you smile." He flipped through every single page of the book. It had a little bit of everything that was ever of sentimental value from their 2 and a half year relationship. There was a certain page in the book that filled Ryder with a certain level of joy and exuberance that no one in that room had seen in him since Jake died. They all agreed that instead of practicing for Nationals that afternoon they would let Ryder explain to them all the little cute, but to some of them meaningless things in the book. With that nod of agreement, each of the 12 of them departed for their various classes.

Ryder's American Lit. teacher gave their class an off day since a grading period had just ended. He used his period to flip through the photo album. Marley and Unique moved to near him so none of the others in the class would see the tears rolling down his face. Marley whispered "Jake didn't mean for this book to make you cry Ryder. It was so years upon years from now, when you two are looking back on the past with your kids, you two can show them how long your relationship has stood the test of time." Unique whispered "You two were forever endgame." Ryder smiled slightly at his former enemy's kind words. Eventually the bell rang for his next class. To him, this day ticked by slow as a snail. The time for glee club couldn't arrive soon enough. He sat around in a circle with the 11 others and their teacher. The girls were awing at the various photo booth strips of Jake and Ryder at various anniversaries. The boys thought it was oh so awesome that they held onto the ticket stubs from different superhero movies and concerts they had gone to see as a different date each time. There was one paragraph towards the end that not even Ryder had scene the numerous times he flipped through the book. Artie asked "What's that paragraph?" Ryder read the text to himself silently and immediately began crying. Kitty asked "Is it his last message to you?" The hazel haired young man nodded with the pools of tears landing on the pages. Blaine whispered "You don't have to share it with us if you don't want to Ryder, its ok." The young man clutching the book spoke in a shaking tone that sounded almost broken compared to his usual cocky, borderline arrogant self, "N-no. You guys deserve to hear these words..." Marley nodded at him to begin.

Ryder whispered, "To my dearest Ryder, I know you won't be seeing this till after I'm gone. At this point I won't really know how long. This was in no way your fault honey. You weren't the one who drove me to this. It was the ignorant hateful people in Lima who looked down on our relationship. Despite what everyone said, I never regretted a single minuet of our time together… I love you, and I always will. I don't want me being dead to stop you from falling in love again. Never blame yourself for my choice to end it sweetheart. I'll always love you Ryder. Never forget that. Goodbye till we meet again in heaven my angel. Love Always, Jake Puckerman."

These words had reduced everyone in the choir room to tears, even Mr. Schuster who usually never showed emotion besides joy. Sam wiped away his tears and spoke "I didn't think Jake had it in him to write something that sappy." Ryder growled in a tone of frustration "We didn't think he had in him to jump off a bridge and die, but look where we are a year later!" Marley squeaked "Ryder calm down." In lue of calming down, he walked out of not just the choir room, but the school itself. The others thought he was going to the roof to do the unthinkable. They all split up in different directions to find him. Kitty was the one lucky enough to find him. She looked out at the foot ball field and saw him standing there, more alone he had ever seemed. She walked out him "What's wrong Ryder?" Ryder spoke in a tone in which his words dripped with self pity and depression, "What's it look like? I'm just some kid that's lucky to be a junior in high school that has spent the past year of his life mourning his dead boyfriend, only to have everyone think Jake's suicide was just something they could joke about!" The young woman soothed "Ryder, Sam wasn't trying to joke about Jake's death. It's just none of us had ever seen the sappy emotional side of Jake that you did. We only ever saw the tough guy womanizer exterior." Ryder chuckled slightly despite still crying "He always said I made him want to be a better person." Kitty smirked "Exactly, you made him less womanizer, more cute fluffy kitten." Ryder smiled "Despite his cat allergy." She shook her head and remarked "God I'd love to have a boyfriend that's as good to me as you were to him." Ryder smiled as Jake's half brother rode up and gestured for him to get in the side car. He cheered "Well I'll see you later Kitty. I'm going with Puck to visit Jake's grave." She nodded and waved casually at the eldest Puckerman. Noah waved back at the slightly shorter in stature blonde as Ryder climbed into the sidecar. Puck spoke before they departed "Ok we need to stop and get flowers before we go to the cemetery." Ryder questioned "Did you not think to get them before coming to pick me up?" Noah answered "Well, I didn't know what flowers Jake liked, and I figured you would since you two were together for so long." Ryder smiled and spoke "2 and a half years." Noah remarked "Dude, that's huge. I didn't know you two were that steady." Ryder nodded and got out once they came to a stop. He walked out about 6 minuets later with a bouquet of pure white daisies. Puck asked "Why daisies?" Ryder answered with a certain air of joy he gained by just holding them. "We found out on our first date that it was both of our favorite flowers." Puck cooed "Aww how cute, you two having things in common!" Ryder kept silent as they began the ride to the cemetery. To say he was emotionally unprepared to visit the grave was a true understatement. He attempted, and failed to control the tears already spilling down his face as Puck parked. The older of the two young men spoke, "It's ok to be crying Ryder. He's been gone a year. It's ok to be sad about it." Ryder nodded as the tears continued to flow. The two walked to where Jake had been buried on the dreary morning of that day one year ago. Ryder remembered the way to it exactly. Once they came up to the stone Puck red it aloud in a mournful tone, "Here lies Jake Puckerman, dancer, fighter and loving boyfriend. 1997-2013..." Ryder's tears immediately began flowing harder than ever that day. He rested his head on Puck's shoulder as the older boy soothed "Don't be sad. You're the reason his head stone says loving boyfriend. He loved you Ryder. He wouldn't want you to be sad right now. He would want you to think back on all the happy memories you two had together." Ryder nodded and attempted to smile. Puck realized he might need a moment. He walked back to his motorcycle, leaving Ryder alone at the grave. Ryder spoke "Hey Jake honey. I know it's been a while since I've been here, but schools been crazy." I promise though now that the school year is almost over, I'll come visit more often. Just like I did when you were first gone." He smiled to himself and sat the daisies down. He spoke once again "I love you Jakey-boo." He smiled and walked back to the motorcycle. Noah spoke a solid tone. "You ready to leave Ryder?" The brunet-ish young man nodded. Noah continued "Well, I'm glad I was able to bring you here, especially today. I know how much Jake meant to the both of us." Ryder smiled "Thanks for the ride Puck. I'm surprised you didn't cry." The older young man admitted "I did, while you were at the grave. The way how even though he's been gone and in a hole in the ground for a year, you still love him, and you know that he lived his dying day loving you. Now bring it in for a hug before I break down crying again. You need to get home kid." Ryder stepped nearer so Puck could wrap him in a tight, bear bear-hug like embrace. As soon as Puck let go the two departed from the cemetery to drop the younger off at his house. Ryder hummed along to the song that was in his head at the time as they pulled up to his house. He stepped out of the side car and spoke "Thanks for the ride Puck." The older young man remarked "You're family Lynn. Call me Noah!" The hazel eyed young man nodded and walked back inside the house. He called out "Mom, Dad I'm home!" His mother smiled and chirped "Hey kiddo how was school?" He answered "It was ok, I guess..." She consoled "I know today's been sort of sad for you. Jake was such a good kid." Her son whispered "To me he was so much more than that." She asked "Well, what was he to you?" Ryder answered, already choking up "He was a caring, compassionate boy friend, an amazing dancer, a promising vocal talent, a brilliant young mind, and the sweetest, most genuine person I've ever met." She spoke, the tears apparent. "Go on up to bed kiddo. You had a rough day." He nodded and went to his room, not even taking off his shoes as he climbed into bed. He whispered "Goodnight Jake." It was in that moment he heard only three words out of the darkness in Jake's unmistakable voice. The phantom voice spoke "Goodnight Ryder."


	3. Maybe Im crazy?

Author's Note: Thank you all so much for such positive response this story is getting.

It had to have been a dream. Ryder spoke out to himself in the darkness of his bed room "No, it can't be. He's been gone for a year." He looked at his clock and the red numbers revealed it was 2 in the morning. Ryder then corrected himself "A year and a day…" The tears began to well in his eyes. He knew he heard it. It was unmistakable. He knew it was Jake's voice, no matter how impossible it seemed. Ryder decided he would just go back to sleep and deal with whatever mental breakdown he was about to have until the morning. The rest of his night was spent tossing and turning while his head was filled with thoughts of his late boyfriend. When he awoke several hours later, he looked at the clock and muttered "Why can I never sleep late on a Saturday?" He decided to climb out of bed. Ryder realized he had slept in the same clothes he had worn the day before. He merely rolled his eyes and changed shirts so it wasn't as obvious. He trudged his way down the stairs to find his mom and 2 brothers sitting around the table eating pancakes. Mrs. Lynn chirped "Want some breakfast kiddo?" In lue of responding to her, Ryder just shook his head and grabbed a pop tart. His older brother Blake grabbed his shoulder lightly and remarked "Look little bro, whatever weird lapse in your psyche you're having because Jake's dead, it can't last forever. Just sit down and eat some actual food." The middle of the Lynn boys growled in an enraged tone that no one in the room knew he could muster "Let me go now!" Blake soothed "Not till you sit down and explain to me and mom what's wrong, Ryder. No matter how much it doesn't seem like it with me being in college, or dad working, or mom teaching..." Alex added "Or me having football practice..." Blake continued "Exactly, no matter what it seems like at times, we are here for you Ryder." The slightly restrained teen spoke again in a calmer tone "Dude, just let me go. I'm late." Mrs. Lynn spoke up "Blake let your brother go." The oldest young man complied and released his grip on his brother. She continued "Where are you headed kiddo?" Ryder answered "I'm meeting Sam and Blaine at the park." She kissed her middle son's forehead and whispered "Ok Ry have fun. But if you're riding your bike there, do not forget your helmet." Ryder remarked as he strapped on his helmet "Mom I'm not a kid. I don't need you to keep reminding me of basic safety precautions." She snarked "Well every time I don't, you always forget to wear it!" He nodded his head as he scarfed down the last bit of his cookies 'n' cream breakfast pastry. Ryder walked out to the garage to grab his bike. He grabbed it from where it stood against the wall and departed on his way.

It took Ryder a bit to get to the park. By the time he arrived, Sam and Blaine were there waiting on him. Blaine chirped "Glad you could make it Ry." The chestnut haired young man shot a look of appreciation at his gel wearing friend. Sam pondered "Blaine, why did you want us to meet you at the park exactly?" Blaine spoke "There's a reason I told you both to ride bikes here." Ryder asked "And that reason is?" Sam seemed to know precisely what he was thinking as he climbed on his bike. The two yelled simultaneously "Race ya!" Ryder clambered back onto his bike and quickly caught up to his friends. He just barely pulled ahead of the two before reaching the ending point at the start of the hiking trail first. Sam spoke in an exasperated, out of breath tone "Dude, you were quick." Ryder smirked "No Dip Sherlock." The three of them lay out on the ground just watching the clouds. Ryder asked in a nonchalant tone "Do you guys think ghosts are real?" Blaine answered "Not really. It's like, why would someone's spirit be trapped on earth in the first place?" Sam had begun to speak, but Blaine accidentally cut him off by murmuring while looking at his phone. "Well guys I've got to go. Kurt just got back to town. Have fun laying here!" He then hopped back on his bike and peddled off. Sam continued their conversation "What would make you want to ask about ghosts man?" Ryder piped up "Promise you won't tell anyone or think I'm a complete nutbag?" Sam nodded his head slightly. The hazel eyed young man spoke "Last night I heard his voice, like in my room. It was really weird. Granted, I was the one that was saying goodnight to a photo of my dead boyfriend..." Sam asked "Ok what did this 'voice' say?" Ryder responded "It wasn't just some random voice. It was Jake's voice. I'd know it from anywhere Sam. He said goodnight Ryder." Sam stood up and tightened his ponytail. He spoke "Well man, I'm going back on my promise. You're a complete nutbag. Jake killing himself drove you insane man." Ryder shot his so-called friend a look of deep distain and growled "I'm not crazy. I swear I'm not!" Sam remarked "Well Ry, I'll leave you to your delusions…" He left Ryder laying there on the ground in tears. He whispered to himself "I'm not crazy. I know I'm not." The phantom, or as he heard it, Jake's voice spoke again in a soothing voice. "Ryder hon you're not crazy. I believe you." The brunet young man smiled and looked off in the direction he heard the voice coming from and murmured "I'm not crazy. Jake doesn't think I am either."


End file.
